getting shit together

It is always fun to have visiting professors and clinicians give lectures. It helps to emphasize what other experts feel is most important, provides a measure of reassurance that what we are learning is consistent with our peers at Loma Linda, USC, UCLA, or UC-Irvine, and it forces students to be on their best behavior. Not to be overlooked, visiting professors provides another venue for bad jokes and sage sayings.

How do you hide a $100 bill from an internist?...put it under a dressing
How do you hide a $100 bill from a surgeon?---put it in a book
How do you hide a $100 bill from a plastic surgeon***You Can't!

To supplement our Blood and Lymphatic system we have had a visiting Harvard trained hematologist currently working at UCI med school present us the essentials of leukemias, lymphomas, and anemias. As the topics in our courses get more multifaceted and complex, ultimately there is a tedious amount of details to memorize. Clinicians who have "been in your shoes" and have years ago completed med school inevitably give a motivational introduction or conclusion to their topic. Each message has its own flavor but they all have a common trend-- it will all make sense in residency! As we approach our next exam weekend Doctor Howard conceded that there will be a lot to memorize. To put memorization into context he explained his most memorable med school moment to us before starting the 9th lecture hour of the day. Following a particularly difficult block at school he and his roommate decided it would be a good idea to host a party inviting all 160 students from his class and the 160 students from the second year class. His most enduring memory is of his downstairs neighbor coming up to complain that the plaster was falling off of the ceiling followed shortly thereafter by the police to break up the party. Having narrowly escaped legal disaster he successfully finished Harvard and moved on to bigger and better things- putting us through the memorization gauntlet. This musing is my attempt to keep things in perspective; what we remember is a heterogeneous mixture of facts we cram to memorize, random trivia that we never can forget, complex algorithms we use daily, and snapshots of the people, places, stories, and events that make life joyful and memorable. Despite my headache organizing drugs, symptoms, side effects, disorders, and the hours in a day, I cherish the ability to memorize and have memories.

Dr. Howard's parting words were the heirloom wisdom that he received during his first year of rotations from a chief resident: All you need to do to survive life as a medical student and later on as a physician is to remember the 4 laws of shit:
-know your shit
-do your shit
-give a shit
and don't take no shit

...Now I'm off to memorize this shit.